Are you chewing yourself a new one?

It's now 1:19am. At about 1:10am I was chewing myself a new one. Here's a glimpse of the conversation I noticed in my head:

"Stella. (Okay, I don't talk to myself in the 2nd person, but will for effect here). It's 1am again! Haven't you made a commitment to yourself like a million times that you were going to go to bed earlier? I mean really, did you need to stay up watching Sex in the City, again?"

PAUSE.

"Stella. What is the big deal here? Are you really having this thought? Are you seriously beating yourself up right now for not getting to bed earlier on a holiday weekend?!?"

Perhaps it was yoga on Friday, or maybe my turning a year older last week, or maybe my practing self acceptance recently, or even the $50,000 I paid to learn about positive psychology - but whatever it was or is - the capacity to PAUSE, NOTICE, and re-direct my thoughts is the key to IT. Whatever it means.

We have about 60,000 thoughts a day. Most thoughts for most people are fast. We're so used to the noise of thoughts that it's easy to not pay attention to them. But tonight I did. I isolated a self defeating whisper that was not so much about going to bed early as it was on the gravy train toward undermining my self efficacy.

So I pulled the breaks as soon as I noticed and thought something like this instead: "So what? Maybe, you actually like going to bed late. Maybe you should F routine. You're not a routine, regular type of gal. You don't fold your shirts the same way, you enjoy wearing mismatching socks for the fun of it, so stop trying to act like an anal A job."

Standing up for myself and my behavior instead of judging it made me feel lighter. Why hadn't I thought to do that before?

This whole mental experience happened in a matter of seconds. But it's the capacity to tune into the chatter and transform the non-supporting thoughts that can change your life. Or at least, help you sleep a little better.


With much love,
S

What Graduation Feels Like

“If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.” - Orson Welles

Today I graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with a Master in Positive Psychology. Kind of. Our class technically finishes in the summer when we complete our capstones - but we got to wear the cap and gown and I bought a Penn t-shirt...so it feels like I graduated. I feel good. Relieved. Happy. Content. Sad. Uncertain. Anxious. Calm. Cool. A little numb. Open. Collected. Grounded. All at once.

Maybe it's the Gemini in me that's enabling so many different things to be going on. But this HUGE deal is just taking some time to integrate.

Much love,
Stella

I know you want it...

So many of you have asked about this program. I'm LOOOOVING it. Go for it!


Dear Authentic Happiness Member:

We are happy to announce that the Master of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania is now accepting applications for the 2010-2011 academic year.

We are looking for the next class to join the more than 190 students who have enrolled in this extraordinary program in the five years since its inception and who are now applying positive psychology in education, medicine, law, business, psychotherapy, counseling, coaching, consulting, and elsewhere. Some of our younger students are now enrolled in Ph.D., J.D., or M.D. programs to further their training before engaging in the practice of positive psychology.

Because MAPP is offered on an executive education model, most of our students continue to work full time during the year and commute to Philadelphia - from across the United States and as far away as Mexico, the UK, Sudan, South Korea, Australia and New Zealand! - for the on-site classes. While many students have already earned other master's degrees or even Ph.D.'s, only a Bachelor's degree is required for admission.

If you hold at least a Bachelor's degree (or will complete one this spring), have an excellent academic record, and are interested in learning about positive psychology and its applications from leading researchers and practitioners in the field, we invite you to find out more about our program. If you think the program may be a good fit for you, we encourage you to submit an application before the deadline of March 1, 2010.

For more information about our program, please visit our website at
http://www.pennpositivepsych.org

In addition to general program information, the website contains a link to a recorded Virtual Information Session that features input from administrators, professors, and students of the MAPP program.
Please feel free to pass this message along to anyone else you know who might be interested in this program.

Whatever you choose to do in this New Year, we hope it will be one of authentic happiness for you and yours.

Sincerely,

Marty Seligman
Director
Positive Psychology Center
University of Pennsylvania

James Pawelski
Director of Education and Senior Scholar
Positive Psychology Center
University of Pennsylvania

Hugging David Cooperrider

"I just want to hug you! You've made me cry three during your lecture. Your energy opens us up. It comes from your authentic love and centered self. Thank you." This is what I said to David Cooperrider, the Founder of Appreciative Inquiry. From the United Nations, to the Dalai Lama, to the world's top CEOs, to individual nations, to cities, to hospitals, to universities, to families, David has been driving a new way of change, a new language, a new future. This man is as incredibly humble as he is brilliant. David is not a dramatic, suspenseful, orator. He's a cheery, even keeled, soft-spoken, accessible, and kind man. As I hung onto David's every word I was surprised by my level of engagement relative to his calm presentation style. He wears simple clothes, a delightful smile, and I couldn't sense of stitch of ego in this 21st century game changer. I've never been the affectionate type, especially with people I don't know. But as our class intervened David's lecture to give him a dose of his own appreciative medicine, I felt compelled to get up in the middle of his lecture and give him a big hug. He gave me a big hug back.

David has given the world a tremendous gift. And by give - I mean GIVE. Appreciative Inquiry is not a trademarked or copyrighted process- it can be used by any professional or organization as an approach to creating positive transformation.

I have to get up early for an 8am Sunday lecture...so here are some of the highlights from David's talk today to our MAPP class (Masters of Applied Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania) that I want to share with you:

1. All change begins in the imagination. It literally does.

2. It's not about top-down or bottom-up, it's about the WHOLE. Get everyone involved in change.

3. “The task of leadership is to create an alignment of strengths..making a system's weaknesses irrevelant.” -PETER DRUCKER, one of the most prolific writers on management.

4. Organizations aren't problems that need solving. Their rich full of solutions. Let's release the our deficit/problem-centered model of change.

5. "AN ESTIMATED $300 BILLION IS LOST IN THE US ECONOMY DUE TO DISENGAGED EMPLOYEES." Woah. I don't have the source...but I believe David.

6. It's not the past, nor the present, but rather anticipation of the future that drives human beings. The power of change happens in the images, inner dialoge, and metaphors within us and organizations.

7. The questions we ask set the stage for what we find. The questions we ask create our reality.

8. Consider your ROA. Your return on attention. Companies spend millions figuring out what's WRONG. Rather, investigate what's right, what you want to grow.

9. Why has AI taken off.
-Exceptionality: We are all exceptions to the rule - no one is born the same. AI seeks to highlight the exceptions.
-Essentiality: It's not about being the central focus that we crave as human beings, but rather it's the need to feel essential in a group. AI enables people gives notice to the essential and meaningful contributions of everyone in the WHOLE.
-Equality of voice: We have a right - responsibility - to honor the full voice of any organization or system. Only by assembling the whole can we create monumental, lasting, and fast change.

10. This is all new. We still haven't nailed the language to this process and this new way of being and calling for change. The limits of language limit our world. So together we must seek to create a new common vocabulary, so we can live within a new context of possibility and imagination.

Much love and good night.
S