Thursday, January 24, 2013

Your Nothing is Something

The other morning, as happens many days and moments, my love, my partner in life, showered me with appreciation. We were in the middle of getting ready over breakfast. He caught me as I was cleaning off the countertop and said, "I'm so grateful for the space you create for me, I wouldn't be who I was without your support, you are amazing." I heard the words. I thanked him and looked at him and felt/thought, "wow, it's amazing that you feel this. I'm so grateful to have someone who has the capacity to appreciate in this way and also see me for someone I don't always see myself as." And then I continued to clear kitchen.

I didn't totally ingest or integrate his words - I just observed them. In fact, beyond appreciating him for saying them, at that moment, in between making coffee and cleaning off the countertop, I pretty much shrugged at the content of what he was saying.

I didn't know what he was really referencing...I felt I didn't deserve such heartfelt showering of appreciation. Especially since I was behind on groceries, hadn't done my hair in while, and was a bit grumpalicious recently. What do I really do I thought that's so special?

What I realized was that it's not about what I do, it's about what I am. And I forgot that. So here's what I recently remembered in my bones and in my heart (even though I've known it in my head for a while)...

  • Just because you're not "doing anything" that feels hard or looks like effort doesn't mean it's not valuable or life changing. 
  • The biggest gift you can offer people is being present. Fully listening to them. Not anticipating your thoughts. Being with them without judgement or naming or labeling something. This profoundly simple experience of just being, the act of doing nothing, is something.
  • It's something only in that it offers a sense of freedom and light to those in your presence and this world. And this access to something beyond the mind, the chatterbox raceway of thoughts, the collision of past and future ruminations, this peace is divine.
And so I realized, after two ivy league degrees, some decent accomplishments in business, and tons of pushing and preparation and hard work...that my biggest gift to the world is not what I know or do but is my surrendering to the moment and being still.  

Take that to your next meeting. Or dinner with your love. Or as you sit in your car. Or as you wash the dishes. Know that you are divine and beyond enough and worth praise beyond words for being just as you are. 

No comments:

Post a Comment