Friday, February 19, 2010

My Version of Being a Rebel

Okay. I've had another streak of not writing. But that's okay. Everyday I come up with FAB blog ideas and I just haven't created the opportunity to write. But I'm actually proud of myself for that. Normally I'd be chewing myself a new one for not doing what I SHOULD be doing...but I say, go ahead, and feel what it's like to NOT be perfect. It's actually nice. A little messy, but nice.

Here's an account of what else I've NOT been doing that I normally would consider something that I SHOULD be doing. Note: this exercise is obviously for those who may index high on anal perfectionism, work way too hard, are too hard on themselves, and try to please everyone in the world. If you don't experience these challenges, this post may not be a thrill for you. But watch-out, this is Stella being bad.

1. Last week I sent out the Ladies Who Launch newsletter with a typo in the subject line. Hell, this blog probably has a bunch of typos in it, too. Someone wrote me an edgy note that they were not "impressed". That totally sucked and gnawed at me because typos are not professional. I sent her a note that I hope she had at least enjoyed the content (the content was pretty good). I did not apologize. I'm tired of f'in apologizing.

2. I handed my positive psychology homework in late and I did not feel bad about it. Now this is Stella getting real rebellious. Watch out. Normally I'd torture myself with caffeine and sugar to meet the deadline. This time I said, F it. I need to take care of myself. (Isn't that what this program is about anyway?). The feeling guilty alarm tried to go off, but I snoozed it. I did feel a little bad...but didn't dwell on it.

3. I dance like crazy for 15-20 minutes instead of working out.
Normally I'd be like "well, it's not a real workout." But instead, I just let myself do something I love that's fun, releasing, and silly. Sure, it's not making me an Olympian, but you should see me grind by myself at 8am in my pj's.

4. I'm not answering all of my e-mails.
I get so many. I'm so freakin busy. I know there is an effective way to manage them...I know there are time management tricks I can try. But for now, there are just some e-mails that are going to fall through the cracks. And I'm not going to feel bad about it dammmit!

5. I take cabs! There are definitely moments where it would make more sense to take the subway...but lately, I've just been indulging in some above ground action. It might take longer and cost more, but I deserve not to have to walk between Times Square and Port Authority (my favorite places in the world) in high heels and 3 million freakin bags.

Okay, so I know I'm a pathetic bad girl. But here's what I've learned by releasing the "shoulds," Jewish guilt, and Miss Perfect agenda.

1. I am perfect! Family and friends still love me. I'm still in business. And I still got an "A." It's not that I got away with being "bad." The lesson is that I'm NOT bad. I'm perfect even when I do things I think aren't. We're all perfect even when we're messing up.

2. Letting yourself get a little messy is fun and opens you up to "ohhhh, what else I can get away with?" This did not encourage me to do further damage of any sort, but rather, reminded me of how much control I have over my everyday experience and LIFE! What a concept.

3. Being bad is like chocolate (at least for me).
A little fix is healthy. But too much makes you sick. I've handed in all my assignments on time since my tardy episode.

Now it's your turn. For one day, don't SHOULD all over yourself and see what happens.

With my love and a little bad ass,

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