Back in 2010 when shit hit the fan on a personal level - I set out on a quest to figure out how to love myself. What does it mean to really love yourself? Is it regular mani-pedi's? Exercise? Good diet? Daily affirmations?
About two years later I think I've finally gotten the swing. The love comes from listening to myself. And not judging. And listening to myself. And not judging.
It's not easy to listen to myself hear say, "Stella, you're not going to work today - you've been working too hard all weekend, so you're going to have to do nothing this Monday." Or, "Stella, you want that chocolate cake like it's nobody's business, just go for it!" Or, "Stella, the answer isn't clear now, but trust that its on its way." Or, "Stella, even though everyone says it doesn't make sense, this is something you've got to do - so just do it." It's not easy to hear such messages without judgement.
It's felt like a wrestling match at times - to go down the path of listening despite what I thought I "should do." But the more I trust the listening and do it without judgement, the happier I am.
Love,
S
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