tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520821868492336008.post2597223484237789576..comments2023-07-27T05:20:33.953-04:00Comments on POSITIVELY STELLA!: Do You Choose to Suck It?Stella Grizonthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18438353164847985113noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520821868492336008.post-7926435504458010282010-09-13T23:54:47.842-04:002010-09-13T23:54:47.842-04:00Hi Dr. G!
You're so right. Like we say in adv...Hi Dr. G!<br /><br />You're so right. Like we say in advertising - it's not just the message but the medium. If we stay centered in the best of intentions - even if we're delivering negative feedback, the message can be received constructively and positively. It's a fine line - but so the way!<br /><br />Thanks for sharing and mastering. I truly believe you're being of service by sticking to your guns in that way. Especially to the restaurant owner.<br /><br />Best,<br />SStella Grizonthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18438353164847985113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520821868492336008.post-64318172340736451922010-09-13T23:51:27.131-04:002010-09-13T23:51:27.131-04:00Cahla, Thanks for sharing such a total parallel si...Cahla, Thanks for sharing such a total parallel situation. It is about standing up to your truth and also being sensitive and flexible enough to knowing when it's right to open up to a new truth or stick to your guns. <br /><br />LOVE the eye candy on your site. GORGEOUS!<br /><br />Best,<br />SStella Grizonthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18438353164847985113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520821868492336008.post-1880357612567839272010-09-08T16:08:57.781-04:002010-09-08T16:08:57.781-04:00Hi Lisa,
I know how you feel! And I know you have ...Hi Lisa,<br />I know how you feel! And I know you have the courage to do get what you deserve. Thanks for sharing your experience. Wishing you great massages that don't require anything but praise!<br />Much love,<br />StellaStella Grizonthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18438353164847985113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520821868492336008.post-4093383019819673052010-09-08T15:22:56.941-04:002010-09-08T15:22:56.941-04:00Hi Stella! How many times has probably everyone on...Hi Stella! How many times has probably everyone on this planet goner through a similar experience whether it be with a massage,an over done steak, a hurried doctor with terrible bedside manners, a waitress/waiter with little to no skills or whatever the case may be. The way I look at it you can either suck it up for fear of looking like a demanding ungrateful nag or say something. <br /><br />I personally used to suck it up but for many years now I speak up. And I don't mean being obnoxious or rude but polite and direct. The other day some friends and I went to a new restaurant and the cute waitress that came to our table acted as if it was a bother she had to wait on us. I tracked down another waitress who was smiling and having a good time at her job. We moved to her section. <br /><br />I am a big advocate of voicing your opinions BUT in a non demanding way. The words you choose and the tone you use makes a huge difference. It's not only WHAT you say but also HOW you say it. So next time you're in a similar situation SPEAK UP BUT SPEAK NICELY!Dr. Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10372540890460703745noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520821868492336008.post-59355648928071821892010-09-04T22:20:28.745-04:002010-09-04T22:20:28.745-04:00Stella,
I love the insight and humor with which y...Stella,<br /><br />I love the insight and humor with which you write. Yes, we are so often afraid of speaking our truth. The typical scenario I hear about in my couples coaching practice goes like this:<br /><br />He wants so badly to please her in bed. He whips out all these moves he's heard about in Maxim magazine and goes over the top to give her a real porn-worthy experience. He's a bit insecure and too focused on 'getting it right' to actually enjoy himself, but hey, she doesn't seem to be complaining, and at the end of the day, it's for her pleasure, right?<br /><br />Meanwhile, she's hating what he's doing. He looks like a mad clown. But she loves him and wants to please him, and he seems to be so engrossed that she feels that if not for her, at least be there for him - donating her body, if you will, for his pleasure.<br /><br />So, no one's happy because no one's communicating their truth. It would be so much simpler if he just asked, if she just spoke up...<br /><br />But then, on another note, I wonder when it's appropriate to suck it up. I don't drink alcohol or very much care for the party scene and my boyfriend's a devoutly cultural Irishman. We've spent days apart simply because I've wanted to go chant Om with a bunch of hippies and he's wanted to talk about sports at the bar and neither of us would compromise our 'lifestyle'- as if the weekend would never come again.<br /><br />Then last Thursday, he went with me to hear this prominent Tibetan monk speak. He grumbled all the way there but halfway thru started nodding his head and fervently taking notes. Afterward we went to a diner. (I'm an organic raw foods vegan! I nearly died just walking in). But then the monk walked into the diner! It was already 10:30pm, and I thought, if a monk can be here, so can I. So I drank half a beer, had some lettuce with french fries on the side, and didn't drop dead. I just told myself that I would surrender to the experience and I did. And when we got home my lover was so impressed with my open-mindedness that he gave me a very sensual massage for nearly an hour, which probably got all the beer and fried food toxins out of my system anyway.<br /><br />Love!<br /><br />www.cahlabloom.comCahla Bloomhttp://www.cahlabloom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520821868492336008.post-69634492910661269472010-09-04T22:15:46.109-04:002010-09-04T22:15:46.109-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Cahla Bloomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03817855106023112044noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-520821868492336008.post-69544109000265677592010-09-04T10:46:08.764-04:002010-09-04T10:46:08.764-04:00Oh this made me laugh - I can't count how many...Oh this made me laugh - I can't count how many times I've had the same internal dialogue and I *always* choose to suck it up. I hate to hurt someone else and let them know that the service was not satisfactory, especially with something so personal as a massage. Though your story might give me courage next time to speak up and get my money's worth - and the satisfied relaxing feeling that we go into massages for!<br />All the best!Lisa Sansomhttp://www.lvsconsulting.comnoreply@blogger.com